faq's - love

A. This is a very common question. There are many ways we can tell if someone is the right person for us. It's certainly not enough to trust our feelings as the average person falls in love about 7 times in their life. How do we know when its ‘real love’? Certain things come straight to mind - trust, commitment, compatibility. Here are a few questions to ask yourself about your relationship with your girlfriend/boyfriend to test and see if it is ‘true love’:

Can you comfortably question and discuss your feelings for each other?
Can you spend long periods of time together without ‘making out’?
Do you respect each other?
Do you rejoice at each other's success without feeling jealous?
Do you allow each other space to be alone or with others?
Can you trust them to keep your deepest thoughts?
Do you accept each other without changes?
Are you comfortable sometimes giving more to the relationship than you get?
Do you look for ways to make the other person happy?
Can you be concerned about the other person even in the midst of disagreements?
Does he/she bring out the best in you?
Does this relationship enhance your relationship with your family?

You need to be answering yes to most of these questions in order to feel confident you have a healthy relationship.

Q2. If you love someone is it okay to have sex if you are underage?

A. The law is there for a reason - to protect us. Even though our bodies may be ready for sex this does not mean that we are emotionally ready. Sex is supposed to be enjoyed in the context of a stable life long relationship. When sex occurs outside of this context it can bring many dangerous consequences to those involved and particularly for those who are young and unprepared for the possible outcomes of a sexual relationship.

If your partner really loves you then he/she should realise that it would not be in your best interests to get involved in a sexual relationship under the age of consent. If they try to pressure you then you have to ask yourself the question - do they really love me?

Q3. How do you know if you are in love with someone and if you are in love with that person can you then have sex with them?

A. Does "being in love" give someone permission to have sex? Being in love with someone means that you may experience all the bubbly feelings, poor concentration, and obsessive thoughts about the person. You may talk about them all the time, but marriage may or may not enter your mind at all. Those feelings may last a few weeks or even months.

The general thought pattern that could occur in these types of relationships is: "What's in this relationship for me?" Committed love, on the other hand, could be quite different. It involves a relationship that has taken time to grow. Unselfish thoughts override selfish ones. You care as much for the other person as you do yourself. You want the best for that person.

If you want the best for someone, would you put that person's health or emotional well being at risk? Sex could put someone's health and emotional well being at risk because of the serious consequences (i.e. diseases, emotional hurt) when sex occurs outside marriage.

Do you want to have the best sex possible? Sex works best within the proper context of committed love - ideally marriage.

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