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Pornography |
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Pornography is big
business and its popularity is increasing. The kind of material that
was in “top-shelf” magazines such as 'Hustler' and 'Penthouse' twenty
years ago is now in mainstream men’s magazines in the barber’s
waiting room. Women as well as men are being targeted as 'Playgirl' joins
with 'Playboy'. The average age of first contact with pornography
also continues to fall with its increasing availability. The key factor in the
spread of porn in the 21st century though is the internet.
In the past, adults would have had to
have gone specifically looking for such material and children were
unlikely to have come across it, but now pornography
can be found accidentally on the Internet whilst looking for innocent
material! In fact, sex has become a
dominant area of commerce and interest on the Internet. There is even a
new word for it - cybersex. Internet pornography is easily
accessible, affordable and anonymous, and can appear secret and safe.
There are many who would never have had any problems with sexual
compulsions were it not for the Internet. In fact, the Internet is now being dubbed the
crack-cocaine of sexual addiction. It works quickly and it’s so
instantly intense. What
sort of sex is pornography all about? Sex
without reality Pornography uses the
strong visual sense of men to promote lust, but promises the unreal.
In
the airbrushed world of pornographic fantasy everything is perfect.
This
can lead to depression in the real world for how can anyone who has to
comb their hair or cut their toenails compete with it? Those who feed on
a continual diet of porn starve their sense of self-worth. Sex
without relationship The popularity of porn is no surprise; it takes something inherently good - the sexual relationship between men and women, and distorts it. It promises the ultimate but can never deliver the intimate. Porn is only concerned with sensations and separates them from the relationships in which they properly belong. Sex
without respect The guilt and
lowering of self-worth associated with porn use can lead to reduced
respect for yourself. The presentation of bodies as mere sexual objects
can reduce, and finally eliminate, any respect for women (or men!) as
persons. They become no more worthy of respect than a piece of meat on a
butcher’s slab Sex
without release The irony of
pornography is that though it promises so much, it ultimately delivers
nothing but heartache. Those who engage in pornography may find a
diminished pleasure in sexual experience with their partner over time.
There is no liberation and freedom to be found in it. Quite the reverse.
One user summed it up in saying “When I use it, I feel I am
dying inside.” Do
I have a problem? If you think you
have a problem you do have a problem!
The vast majority of casual pornography users are unlikely to
come to serious harm but it can rapidly become compulsive. All the
websites listed below have a self-test questionnaire which will give you
some indication of whether you have a serious problem or not. Some key
indicators are
Where
can I get help? Most of the websites below offer detailed suggestions for help in living without pornography. Sharing the problem with a trusted friend to whom you can make yourself accountable is a necessary step for most people. Freedom is possible if you really want it! Love for Life would recommend the site www.care.org.uk/anon which looks at issues raised by Internet pornography and seeks to provide some answers. The site has a Christian ethos with much practical and helpful information relevant to those of any faith or none. Other helpful sites are; www.sexhelp.com and www.cybersexualaddiction.com. |